Filipino Food Humor

15 Restaurant Habits That Show You Are a Certified Tita

Dining out with friends this weekend? For many of us, there is nothing like catching up over good food and having a great laugh with your BFFs. You share stories, recall some inside jokes, and bring up old adventures. Good times. But just when you thought that nothing has changed, you suddenly realize you have become the Tita in your barkada. This is when:

  1. You have a bag of chips as baon, which you eat while waiting for the food to be served.

2. The loud music in the restaurant annoys you, but you bob your head when Quit Playing Games or Bye Bye Bye comes on.

3. As soon as the dishes arrive, you make it a point to recite their names. One by one. Out loud.

4. After announcing the names of each dish, you talk about their recipes and how you can cook them better.

5. You start to eat while your friends are busy taking photos of the food.

6. You tell the waiter to bring Cab-er-nay Saw-vee-nyon (Cabernet Sauvignon) to go with your roasted duck breast or Coat Shal oh naze (Côte Chalonnaise) with your Sautéed lamb. Your friends will look at you as if you are doing an incantation; but you are actually just ordering wine.

7. You wonder if the restaurant uses ingredients that are organic and grown naturally from the earth, and if they are free from chemicals, pesticides, additives and, most importantly, sugar.

8. Upon noticing the large servings, you mention you are on a diet. Then pile your plate with all the food, anyway.

9. You ask for hot tea. Bottomless hot tea.

10. You choke on your food, but instead of asking for water, you ask for your Cab-er-nay Saw-vee-nyon or Coat Shal oh naze.

11. Then you tell your friends to give you a number (from 1-26) to find out which of your crushes has been thinking about you. (You know the drill: The corresponding letter of the alphabet is the first letter of the person’s name.)

12. You comment on the price, service, and the food. In that order. While putting a stack of unused tissues inside your bag.

13. After having your group photo taken by the server, you say, “Oh, wacky naman! Wacky!

14. You never let leftovers go to waste. So, you ask the waiter to pakibalot what’s left of your food. “Pang midnight snack,” you sheepishly say to no one in particular.

15. As you head out of the restaurant, you tell your friends that next time, they should drop by your house and you’ll cook for them every dish that you have just eaten. Because you are, indeed a Tita, and mighty proud of it.


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